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After joining several different online breast cancer support groups, the same question keeps coming up - "What do I need to prepare for my breast surgery and recovery?" While it's fresh on my mind, I wanted to provide a list of supplies I used most at home. I also include a quick list for packing a hospital bag. Hopefully these lists reach those who are looking for comprehensive, realistic items to gather prior to surgery. For context, I had two breast surgeries: a bilateral mastectomy and bilateral DIEP Flap reconstruction. The items I list were used for one or both surgeries. I'll add a * for mastectomy and ^ for DIEP to clarify when each supply came in most handy. I encourage searching thrift shops for many of these items. For others, I offer alternative ideas if buying something new isn't an option.  Breast Surgery Supply ListCOMFORT
PERSONAL HYGIENE
MOBILITY
 HEALING GARMENTS
 BOREDOM BREAKING ACTIVITIES You'll have lots of time on your hands! Keep your mind active by picking up or asking for the following:
 Packing for the Hospital I had inpatient stays for my two surgeries. Here's what I packed:
Other IdeasI'll add to this list if I think of more items that were important during my breast surgery recovery periods. If there is something you used during yours that I didn't include, feel free to leave a comment and I'll add it in to the post attributed to you! NOTE: You may notice I didn't include hot/cold packs. These are not encouraged for pain relief following breast surgery. If left on too long tissue damage can occur because you won't have sensation to alert you.
DISCLAIMER: This list won't apply to all, may not be accessible to all, is not exhaustive, and, in some cases, you should chat with your doctor if you have questions.
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I've been thinking about what I'd include in this post since just before my DIEP Flap surgery last month, because I knew there were elements of the journey I wanted to share that aren't rosy, brave, or empowering. For full context, the timeline of my breast cancer journey went a little like this:
I wish things could be tied up with a pretty little bow, because I've done the big things I was told to do and chose to do, but that's not reality. There's more ahead of me with continued medically induced menopause shots, hormone-blocker meds, and finding ways to transition into survivorship. Diagnosis Reflections Being diagnosed with cancer was something I knew would catch me due to my family history. Did I know it would catch me so young? No. I've described the experience of coming to terms with my cancer diagnosis as feeling submerged underwater to the point that light was barely visible above me. The voices of my care team, family, and friends were muffled and distant. I was alone in the dark. Because I am a person who pushes through, I eventually resurfaced, committed to approaching whatever came my way with new knowledge, optimism, and bravery. I was able to do this through personal drive and, undoubtedly, because of all the people around me who lifted me up. Every single person led with care and concern in both my personal and professional life, for which I'm very fortunate. Having and fighting breast cancer became my sole focus and purpose leading up to my bilateral mastectomy. I became single-minded about it all, but because I am very introspective, I think this was necessary for me to process what was happening.  Bilateral Mastectomy Reflections When I started down the path to treatment, having a bilateral mastectomy was my nightmare. When it was time to decide my course of treatment after being presented with pathology findings, a bilateral mastectomy was the only option that felt best for me. With multiple known tumors in my left breast (unknown tumors found post-surgery) and dense tissue in my right (unknown pre-/borderline cancerous findings post-surgery), I wanted to eliminate the worry of breast cancer coming back. I didn't want to continue breast screenings, knowing I'd always have three tests at minimum - standard mammogram, 3D mammogram + breast ultrasound, and/or an MRI. And lastly, I wanted to avoid radiation or chemotherapy if I could. My physical therapist used the word "amputation," which was the first time I had heard that term used in relation to mastectomies. That's exactly what it is. An amputation of a body part that is traditionally looked at as a rite of passage into womanhood and a primary feature of feeling feminine. I did mourn this loss before and after surgery. For me, my breasts are something that make me feel beautiful and confident. Having them taken away against my will broke my heart a bit. To help capture my body before jumping into cancer treatment, my husband took some beautiful pictures of me in my most complete and natural state. I shared one below. The surgery itself was a breeze; I was surrounded by loved ones, and I recovered just fine. I had tissue expanders put into place in preparation for a future reconstruction surgery, which took some time to get used to. To help create a visual for the girlies reading this, my breasts looked normal and lifted with clothes on, but if you poked the right spot it would feel like an empty plastic bottle rebounding from being pushed on. My breast shape and size fluctuated slightly based on different factors (external/internal temps, weight, etc.), and there were up to nine inch horizontal scars across the center of each one. My nipples were not spared, so they were completely gone. By the end of our time together, I had grown used to them, their foreign feeling on my body, and all. Menopause Reflections Having menopause medically induced was not on my BINGO card for 2025. After discussion with my Medical Oncologist, we determined that prompting menopause alongside taking a daily hormone-blocker pill would be the best course of action for me. Prompting menopause would lessen serious side effects from the medication. The hormone-blocker would help reduce the risk of cancer recurrence. I get a shot monthly to move menopause along. So far, I've had these common symptoms:
The pill I take is an estrogen blocker called Letrozole. I have had no negative side effects as far as I can tell. If I have, they are items that overlap with my menopause symptoms. Once I'm more recovered from surgery and further into my menopause journey, I plan to get hormone testing done so I can get them balanced out. I am deep into research about what I can do now to help my future self. Our bodies are incredible things, and if I could share one finding now, it's that gut health is SO IMPORTANT!  Reconstruction Reflections Reconstruction was absolutely the hardest part for me, physically and mentally. The alternative to reconstruction is going "flat." I did consider that option to avoid another surgery, but to feel most like myself after this chapter closes, I thought having breasts would be important for me. I chose Deep Inferior Epigastric Perforator (DIEP) Flap breast reconstruction surgery that used my stomach tissue instead of implants. I wanted the most natural outcome. Implants have the potential to leak; regular scans to prevent or catch leaks are required, and they need to be replaced every 10-15 years. I chose the option that is more "intense" up front for a longer-term, lower maintenance outcome. Even though I knew the general process I was going into for surgery, I think I was more nervous this time. Most likely because going under anesthesia for a 14-hour major surgery is pretty intense! My care in the hospital was superb, but things got hard after I got home. The surgery is no joke; I talk in more depth about the recovery complexities here. Physically, to be blunt, I feel like Frankenstein. Focusing on my body's flaws is luckily something I don't normally ruminate on, so feeling like I do now is foreign. I have up to 9-inch scars running horizontally on each breast with a circle in the middle to represent my nipples, which were not spared during my mastectomy. These circles are attached to skin and tissue from my abdomen. They're important to visually confirm that blood is flowing between my original breast tissue and the added abdominal tissue. Additionally, I have an up to 24-inch scar at the bottom of my abdomen and a reconstructed belly button. I am pushed over the edge when I also include thoughts about the bruising, swelling, and new (undesired) angles to my body. Mentally, I'm rebounding. The day I was able to get two of my four drains out, I didn't think I could cope. I spent the morning at the cancer center getting poked and prodded - labs, consultations, a 30-minute infusion, a shot. When it came time for the shot (which they had to do in my THIGH) I was certain I was going to throw a child-like fit. I smothered my face with a pillow until it was over. We then rushed to Iowa City for drain removal. I flat out told the nurse that I felt extremely fragile and unprepared for the removal. She was so kind and let Joel hold my hand and coach me through. The second picture below captures me just before that happened, trying my best to dig as deep as I could to find an ounce of bravery and strength. There was none to be found. I've never been unable to pull my shit together and adult through my appointments. This was truly the first time I felt helpless and that my body couldn't take any more. To compound the feelings of weariness, I have gone through several phases of, "Was this decision silly and vain?" Having a mastectomy was a no-brainer surgery - I was getting cancer out of my body to save my life. Having reconstruction was different because I felt that I was asking for support from others and my job so that I could essentially get a tummy tuck and new boobs. But here's the thing. Would I have chosen to do it if I hadn't had cancer? Absolutely not. I had to reframe my thoughts. Reconstruction is the last big piece of my cancer chapter before it can be finished. Reconstruction is cancer-related. Reconstruction is OK. Reconstruction is not silly nor vain. That's enough emotion dumping for today! If you're interested in reading more in-depth details about each step, you can click here.
And thanks for listening <3  No Pressure? Right...I thought this was funny given the situation I was in, so had to snap a pic! I did it! On February 24, I had a successful Deep Inferior Epigastric Perforator (DIEP) Flap breast reconstruction surgery. I was in the gifted hands of Dr. Allison Lorenzen at University of Iowa Health Care, the same Plastic Surgeon I had for my bi-lateral mastectomy. It was a 14-hour surgery, including post-op recovery. I was in the hospital for three nights. Hourly monitoring has to be done following DIEP Flap surgery to ensure the tissue transferred from my tummy to my breasts was getting blood supply. They used a fun little doppler do-dad with a simple metal probe that allowed them to listen for the blood pumping. My inpatient care team was absolutely incredible and, by the time we were set to go home, Joel and I both felt confident about managing my post-op needs. I had four drains that needed to be "stripped" and measured twice per day, incision dressings that needed to be preserved, and bruising to monitor. Joel was with me the whole time, and I'm so very lucky for that. My parents, sister, and best friend also paid me a visit. When I had my mastectomy, the TV heavens blessed me with a Harry Potter marathon. The same happened this time around!  Recovery has been rough. I have fortunately had no complications but, with my abdomen and breasts in pain, my mobility is still very limited. This surgery requires you to sit and walk with a deep bend at the hips to not pull on the abdomen incision, so I initially looked like a hunchback while walking! I'm standing more straight every day with less pain, but my chest is still pretty sensitive and cramps easily. Much more stillness and rest are required this time around. There are a few items I did not have on hand from my mastectomy that have been lifesavers during recovery:  Abdominal Binder Post Surgery Belly Wrap Before discharge, the hospital fits you with an abdominal compression wrap. It is very basic and cut to size right in front of you based on the length of your abdomen. This worked well at first up until all four of my drains were removed because it was easy to use, flexible, and customizable if it was too tall or irritating my drains. For example, we cut a notch out of the wrap at one point so it wouldn't push up on one of my breast drains. I chose to get a more structured wrap for better support. Walking hunched over put a lot of strain on my back. It was extremely painful to the point I almost had to drop to the floor where I was standing. The wrap I got makes me feel safe, secure, supported, and reinforces my back. I believe it has helped me stand up straight more quickly than I would have with the hospital wrap.  Folding Walker with Wheels Because of the back pain I had, a walker provided me enough relief to get in a few steps around the house and to/from the bathroom. Fortunately, a family member had one that I could borrow. If that wasn't the case, I would have looked into renting one vs. buying one.  Bathroom Bench Bath Chair I was able to shower before leaving the hospital. That gave me the confidence to shower at home. I started on the edge of the tub splashing water onto myself. When I got this chair, it was a game changer. It makes showering easier and actually enjoyable. Again, fortunately, a family member had one that I could borrow. If that wasn't the case, I would have looked into renting one vs. buying one. I share more post-op favorites in my On the Mend post that I also used for DIEP Flap surgery recovery. What's Next?
I'm feeling a lot of things right now. Preparing for and going through reconstruction pushed me to my mental and physical limits. My chest is too cramped to write about that today, but I look forward to diving a little deeper into that soon. Thanks, as always, for the continued love and care.  I've kind of been dreading flipping the calendar page to February 2026. Today started feeling heavy as I opened up the tote containing items related to my breast cancer and double mastectomy. I packed these items away with care months ago and it felt like I was able to close up that chapter. Pulling out what I needed this morning transported me back to last year, hit with what I've known all along - it's not over yet and I have to keep going. Tomorrow I have my pre-surgical appointments to prepare for reconstruction surgery on February 24. I cracked open my patient navigation guide and notebook that contains all of the questions and answers I gathered since my diagnosis in February 2025.  I revisited notes I took last year about the surgery I have coming up, a DIEP flap breast reconstruction. I wrote down a series of new questions and topics I want to revisit. I read up on the procedure again and watched some educational videos. Being prepared in this way helps me feel a little more in control and allows me to better advocate for myself.
Starting the pre-op, op, and post-op process all over again is what is giving me the most anxiety. I know I'm in good hands at the University of Iowa. I have a wonderful support system ready to help take care of me. I made it to the other side of a breast amputation and recovery. Pain is something I'm prepared to work through. Joel and I know the drill and routine of it all. Nevertheless, the butterflies in my stomach continue to flutter around. My trusted talisman and lucky charms are pulled out. My outfit is hanging in my closet. My bag is packed with my navigation guide and notebook. I'm as ready as I am going to be for tomorrow and beyond. If you're reading this, please send good and healing vibes my way. I'll absorb as many as I can get. Thank you in advance! The last time I shared about my breast cancer journey, I was recovered enough from my bi-lateral/double mastectomy to have my drains taken out and dressing removed. Telling you all what it felt like with foreign objects on my chest! It has been almost seven months since my surgery. In that time, I've gotten good news, bad news, reflected a lot, grown, been knocked down, humbled, and reprioritized many areas of my life.  Pathology and Treatment Follow Up
I went into surgery thinking we were removing just two tumors in my left breast. After pathology results came back, it was discovered I had three tumors in my left breast AND one in my right breast, along with other suspicious findings in that breast. I was completely confident with my mastectomy decision, but having science confirm I made the right choice by removing both breasts was reassuring. Because I had a double mastectomy, I knew I wouldn't need radiation. Because my genetic oncotype test came back just under a certain score, I did not need chemotherapy. I am beyond grateful for both of these things. I am on a daily medication, Letrozole, to suppress my estrogen levels since my cancer was estrogen positive, meaning estrogen was feeding my cancer. Because Letrozole is primarily used to treat postmenopausal women, my oncologist and I decided on a monthly shot at the cancer treatment center that put me into menopause. I'm around six months in, starting the shot in July, 2025. The medication doesn't bother me, but the menopause does! Hot flashes...brain fog, amiright?! Lastly, I was referred to physical therapy to regain a (mostly) full range of motion (with expanders, full extension may not be possible). I went a few times a week for six weeks or so. I needed to be pushed further by someone else to ensure I was doing enough and could get "back to normal" before my reconstruction surgery. I did not want to have to work twice as hard rebounding from the second surgery! Going to physical therapy is something I highly recommend if a person has a mastectomy. I went to Thrivera in Cedar Falls, Iowa, with a PT that specializes in breast cancer patients named Katie. I was sad when our sessions had to end! Lifestyle Mentality My mental state going into the mastectomy was centered on "flow." The cancer-specific psychiatrist I had the privilege to work with helped me pick this word to hang onto. This word also prompts my mind and body to relax, reminding of my goal to "go with the flow" - releasing control of the what ifs and focus on what's right in front of me. One foot in front of the other. Along with "flow," "SLOW" has followed closely behind. I needed to slow down. I need to continue to slow down. I need to be oozing along like honey pouring out of a bottle! I dropped to part-time at work due to ongoing appointments, rough reactions to post-surgery treatment, and a family situation that needs a lot of our time and attention. I am very privileged to be able to do this, don't take it for granted, and am so thankful to my employer for their support. Having the extra time allows me to tackle everything at a more reasonable pace that I am able handle without becoming completely drained. I can also show up fully for myself and others, something I haven't been able to do a lot over the years. I'm cherishing this season of life. February Surgery Reconstruction of my breasts is scheduled for late February. I've chosen the DIEP flap option, the "forever" route. A lot more done up front for a longer pay-off. I'll have the surgery at University of Iowa again with the same Plastic Surgeon as my first go-round. This will be a big one. It requires more time (10+ hours), two Plastic Surgeons in the operating room, four post-op drains, and longer recovery because both my abdomen and breasts are involved. In closing, I ask that you send all of your positive, healing vibes my way at the end of February. Ask for steady hands for my surgeons and clear heads for my health care team. I look forward to sharing more soon - February is right around the corner! As hoped, I was able to get my drains out on Monday, July 14! Again, they weren't causing me any type of pain, they're just an annoying bit of post-surgery recovery that got in the way and had to be "milked" by Joel twice per day.
An interesting fact about drains that I didn't fully realize is that they go much further into the body than you would think. For example, my drains entered the side of my body a few inches below my armpit and ran along the length of my "breast cavity" (casually known as the "under boob"). Because I'm still fairly numb in my chest, having them pulled out was not painful. They had me inhale to the count of three and exhale on three as they removed each drain tube. It was an odd sensation, but quick and barely uncomfortable. Additionally, my dressings were removed. This consisted of an unbelievably adhesive "plastic wrap" that held up well for the 20 days I had it on. It is "skin-like" and kept moisture (along with any other unwanted substances/materials) from getting to the paper strips covering the incisions under my left armpit (from lymph node removal), my breasts (from nipple/tissue removal/expander insertion), and drain entry points (for drain tubes). Fortunately, all had healed up well and I was able to leave the office just wearing my compression bra! That felt extremely strange. I was given instruction to keep my "t-rex arms" and antibiotics going for the next couple of days. After that, I could somewhat go back to a "normal" routine with the addition of arm and chest stretching exercises. Those have felt both good and painful to do. I'm determined to get as much range of motion back as possible so I can be active again, while knowing I'll still be limited because I can't lift more than 10 pounds for several more weeks. Sitting in patient rooms waiting for both my surgical oncologist and plastic surgeon to arrive for my post-surgery follow-ups was quite surreal. It felt like just a short time ago I was in those same rooms in a patient gown feeling scared, insecure, and uncertain about what was to come. My head spinning with which surgical routes I should take. And there I was, suddenly on the other side of everything we had talked about in length just a few weeks before feeling that I'd conquered one of the hardest parts of the journey and fortunately made it through without any complications. I credit my success largely in part to my Surgeons and their teams: Dr. Lillian Erdahl and Dr. Allison Lorenzen from University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics. Being primarily cared for by some of the most intelligent, competent, and caring women I've ever met was a privilege I don't take for granted. In saying that, I also want to shout out the one male on my team that I couldn't have thrived without, my Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Gregory Gullickson. Now, to get to the point of this post - my first look. Meaning what it was like for me to see and fully experience my breasts post-surgery with the drains and dressing removed. In the surgeon's office after the dressing was removed I looked down with excitement and blew each a kiss for their resilience, even though they tried to kill me. After the excitement wore off and I was home preparing to take a shower, reality sunk in. Once my compression bra was off and I started moving around and catching glances of myself in the mirror, the tears started to fall. Not because I hated what I was seeing, it was more about hating how they felt on my body. The foreign sensation of having breasts shaped by expanders is hard to explain. For me, it feels like there are two inflated balloons loosely glued to my chest that could fall off at any time. Initially, I was afraid to move in fear they'd deflate or fall to the ground. As I sat on the floor of the bath tub, the most I could muster after fully processing the situation, the tears continued. I looked down at my "Barbie boobs" (meaning sans-nipples) with their four to five inch horizontal scars and lumpy, bumpy shape. They were still mine, I recognized my old friends, but the poor dears had been through some things since we last saw each other. I still obsessively take a peek into my compression bra to ensure everything looks to be "in place." Especially if I feel I've moved a little to much... breaking the recovery rules I was given. The only discomfort I feel is periodic "cramping," mostly on my left side where the lymph nodes were removed and the cancer was. The cramps and certain movements change the form of my breasts, creating a ripple of peaks and valleys in different places. It's fascinating and sad and beautiful and tough to watch. There is something sacred about this time as I await reconstruction surgery. Gratitude to my body for its strength. Fascination regarding this "in between" time and how my breasts are responding so well to their temporary state, unaware the trauma isn't over. A new urge to learn more about breast cancer and provide as much support to others as I can. Continued love from those around me that inspires me to be better every single day. I appreciate it all. Thanks for following along. Remember that really optimistic post from the other day? Yeah, well that has all changed.
If there's one thing you can count on with a cancer diagnosis is that nothing is set in stone. Appointments pushed, information expected at an appointment not able to be shared, more testing needed, results that take longer to come back than normal, and the list goes on. My surgery date is about the only thing during this journey that happened the way we expected it to. My hopes to get the drains out this week have dwindled. The drainage levels haven't met requirements so it's looking like I'll potentially (key word) get them out at my follow up appointments on July 14. That's 20 days after my surgery. The literature says on average they can be taken out in 7-10 days. This has been very discouraging and pushed back my recovery timeline. I also learned that although I'll still have my surgery follow up meetings next week, I won't be able to meet with my oncologist about any needed cancer treatment the following day as planned because it will be another 2 weeks before my oncotype test will be back. This test is key because its results will determine if I'll need chemotherapy or not. Meeting without knowing those results won't have value. And in other super fun news: They found a spot on my liver that I get to have an MRI for! Health insurance still hasn't processed our claims so we have no idea if we'll owe $100 or $10,000. I have sharp pains in my arms and chest anytime I want to do literally anything - from getting out of a chair and taking the lid off a water bottle to getting dressed by myself and going to the restroom. My motto all along is to see the positive side of things, and that's what I've presented to the world thus far. But this is a glimpse into the tough side. The constant fluctuations of unknowns. The realization that as much as I will my body to get better, expect prompt closure on diagnosis and treatment, or confirmation of what's truly next, is, in most cases, completely out of my control. I'm approaching the two week mark since I had my bilateral mastectomy. The recovery process has had its difficulties but, overall, is less taxing than I expected. My daily routine is wake up, take my meds, empty my drains, sit still in our recliner, walk a little, take my meds, empty my drains, and go to bed in the recliner. Joel goes back to work this week so I'll have to do some of these steps on my own. I'll miss having him here for constant support and care! He's incredible. My family and friends pick up where Joel leaves off. I've been so lucky to have many visitors to break up the long days. They often come bearing food and gift baskets. Other times its an offer to help around the house or a comedic performance (thanks to my nieces and nephews). An example of this is when my best friend visited and folded ALL of our laundry that we were very behind on! That's love. And I love her.  I'm happy to report that I'm needing less of everything every day - assistance, pain meds, etc. Swelling is going down, I still have some discomfort in my breasts, and can feel the expanders. The latter was surprising. There are certain areas I can press down on and it feels like pushing in on an empty water bottle. My drain levels are getting lower and I hope to get them out this week. Fingers and toes crossed! They are not painful, just appendages that have to be considered when doing anything - moving, getting dressed, etc. If you don't know much about drains, they help me heal properly by removing excess fluid that can cause pain, swelling, and other issues. The bulbs create suction that pull the fluid out of my body via tubes that are inside my body near the surgical site, held in place with sutures. Below is what they look like.   I'm anxious for my follow up with the Surgical Oncologist and Plastic Surgeon on July 14. That will be the day I find out if I'll need further cancer treatment - radiation and/or chemotherapy. I got a preview of my pathology report via MyChart and it looks like they found two additional tumors in my left breast (the breast that already had two known tumors, prompting the surgery) and my right breast had several abnormal items that were unexpected. I'm not a doctor, so I could be wrong, but this is what I think the report presented. It gives me no better idea about whether or not more treatment will be needed, so I need to have patience until the professionals cover it with me. These are a few of my Favorite Things... Joel, my family and friends did an amazing job gathering all of the supplies I'd need before and after my surgery. Here are just a few of the items I've used daily, there will be more to come! Post Mastectomy Pillow  I use this almost every second of every day! It is first and foremost a shield from the dogs jumping on my chest. The pillows on the side help prevent rubbing in my underarms, specifically the side that had lymph nodes removed. It's a necessary item to have in the car as a barrier between me and the seatbelt. I wore it in the car post surgery and couldn't have survived the trip without it. The pockets allow me to hold my phone, the remotes, etc. so I can follow the instruction to do everything with t-rex arms!  Because I'm sleeping in the recliner each night while I have my drains in, this neck pillow has become a requirement for good sleep! I use it whenever I'm resting and wore it on the way home in the car post surgery so I could sleep, because I could barely keep my eyes open that day!  I've never been a sleep mask girl but I am now! Again, sleeping in the recliner means being in a living room that gets super bright, super early. I can live in denial that a new day has come for an hour or two.  I preferred not to take full showers for a bit post surgery. I took one a couple of days after but it was a little too nerve wracking for me. I preferred wet wipes (below) and these shampoo caps. It's really a remarkable item that made my hair feel fresh and clean. You just put on a cap, "lather" as you would in the shower, and take it off. Your hair gets just as wet as if you showered, without having to go through the whole process.  In addition to the shampoo caps, I use these washcloths to clean up. For face and body, these have been convenient and a great way to freshen up in lieu of a shower. They are gentle, do not irritate my skin, and the scent is very nice, not a "chemical" smell like you'd get from a regular wet wipe. They're large in size, so are easy to use and one cloth can cover a lot of ground!
 Hooray for breast cancer being out of my body! On Tuesday, June 24, 2025, I underwent a successful skin sparing, bilateral (double) mastectomy (removal of breast tissue, nipples) to extract three cancerous tumors (stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma) and related lymph nodes on my left side, with expander insertion to prepare my breasts for later reconstruction. Here's a little recap of how it went. I had an appointment the day before, on June 23, with Nuclear Medicine so they could inject "radioactive tracers" into my left breast. The tracers let the surgeons know which lymph nodes are the first ones cancer cells are likely to spread to from the breast tumors. Mine ended up being in my armpit. The appointment was very quick, so we snuck in a move at Coral Ridge Mall. Highly recommend Elio! We then headed to the hotel to settle in for the night. Our room number was "511" - the same street number as our home address. I took that as a positive sign! After a visit with my parents, we hit the pool for my last swim in a while, and then my sister came to our room to braid my hair for surgery. I slept well surrounded by my stuffies, a mix of mine and ones given to me by family and friends. My nerves were rooted in excitement to get this part of the journey rolling. Check-in time for surgery was 6:30 a.m. for an 8:30 a.m. start. We arrived on time and almost immediately taken back to the pre-op room. I was one of the first cases of the day since my procedure would run from 8-10 hours. The pre-op team was excellent and made me feel at ease about what was going to happen. Part of the process was drawing five vials of blood for the research I agreed to through the university. I was given high compliments on my good veins and ability to pump blood out quickly! (LOL, something to be proud of I suppose.) From there I hit the operating room and that's a big blank space for the next 10 hours! I was talking to my Anesthesiologist about keeping rabbits out of my garden and then all of a sudden I was being rolled into my room from post-op recovery. The doctors told my support crew that everything was "textbook" and went as well as it could have. I responded well to everything that was done and they were able to successfully complete everything that was planned. Also, my lymph nodes were clear (the best news) so no further surgical procedures were required in that area. Joel made sure there was a Mountain Dew waiting for me when I got out, my special request before going in. I hung out with Joel, my parents, sister, and best friend for a bit, and my sister helped get my dinner ordered. We were all relieved and happy to be together celebrating that all went well. To top the day off, there was a Harry Potter marathon on for me to fall asleep (and wake up in the middle of the night) to! I spent just one night in the hospital. All looked good regarding the state of my health and response to the surgery, so I was able to go home in the morning. The only medical residuals I had to take home with me were plastic wraps and a compression bra around my breasts, and an external drain for each breast dangling from a drain belt. After a final visit from my family, breakfast, and a little bout of nausea, we were loading up the car and heading home. I slept from the moment I was strapped into the car through to the next day! Since returning home, all has gone quite well. Joel has taken on the role of nurse, chef, dog sitter, family/friend updater, head gardener, and so much more. Luckily, he was able to take a couple of weeks off to be by my side. He manages the meds I have to take throughout the day and empties my drains morning and night, along with feeding, bathing, and dressing me. I couldn't do this without him! Get yourself a Joel if you can. But you can't have mine. We've been able to manage my pain, which didn't start getting "bad" until about day 4 or 5 when my nerves began to recalibrate and come alive again. It's wonderful to experience feeling coming back to my breasts, so the "pain" is worth it. I can't complain too much though, what I'm feeling is tolerable and certainly better than I thought it would be. The thing that I haven't been able to manage is staying still! I felt good to go almost immediately after the anesthesia fuzziness and tiredness wore off. I paid the price for not following my "move like a t-rex" instructions from the Plastic Surgeon, so I learned my first lesson quickly. I am now as still as possible (which isn't good enough, but the best I can do). I'm spending my days in a recliner reading, doing puzzles, coloring, and napping. We've had visitors every day which has helped break up the long hours of sitting. Many have brought us food to enjoy so Joel doesn't need to cook and items to keep me occupied in the vast downtime. We feel surrounded by love and support. That is so vital to moving forward with bravery and strength. I know if I were to stumble or fall, we have a network of loved ones to catch us. Thanks to all of you reading this who are one of those people. Seeing the Full Picture
Square websites don't offer "graphic content" warnings that allow a person to choose if they view an image or not. I was going to share a real time picture of what my breasts look like in order to better educate people about what this process entails and what to expect post-surgery. But I don't want to shock anyone without their consent! I have no reservations sharing these types of images because, although graphic, they may help others facing this same type of surgery get a fuller picture of what to expect from a real person they can interact with. I'm happy to share more "down and dirty" details with anyone who wants or needs them. Leave a comment or reach out to me via my site's contact page!  June 10th marked two weeks until my bilateral (double) mastectomy. When I had that realization things started to feel real. I’ve been talking about it for months, it felt so far away. But it’s not far away anymore. I don’t know what emotions are presenting themselves at any given moment. I think it’s a bit of a tornado of all of them all at once:
I’m able to push through the waves of emotion by leaning on my natural default in turbulent situations: “business-mode.” Another part of my being takes over and I love her very much. She absorbs information, rationalizes and accepts the reality of it, educates herself, asks the right questions, and processes the answers to make sound decisions. She’s served me well so far. But no matter how much research, or leg work, or preparation she can muster, at the end of the day, after all the decisions have been made, every remaining detail is out of her control. Out of my control. I’ve done my best to remind myself to “give in” to the fact that I won’t have control over much in the coming weeks. Working what’s to come isn’t going to be of benefit to me. Letting thoughts and feelings flow in and out has been the best approach. When I’m mad, I allow it. When I feel like crying, I allow it. When I’m afraid, I allow it. The same applies to the positive parts of all this, which has been more present than bad – the sweetest surprise. When I’m loved on, I allow it. When help is offered, I allow it. When support is expressed, I allow it. No holding on to any one thought or feelings, just clouds floating by. As I mentioned, I feel confident about who is caring for me, which is the most important part at this point in the journey. University of Iowa Health Care has been a fitting medical home for me. I’m constantly impressed by their efficiency and follow up. They also really care. I have left every appointment feeling better than they found me. The past few weeks have included pre-surgical visits with my surgical oncologist, plastic surgeon, and oncology psychiatrist. I have a CT scan next week along with another visit with behavioral oncology and first visit with the oncology dietician. There is a wide range of support services available, and I’ve been asking to be referred to as many as I have time for. At this moment, my care plan is to have a bilateral (double) mastectomy with “expanders” inserted. Expanders help preserve the shape of the breast as I heal, give my immune system a break from fighting cancer, and prepare for reconstruction. Later in the year (if my blood vessels qualify – fingers and toes crossed) I’ll have DIEP (Deep Inferior Epigastric Perforator) flap breast reconstruction. It uses tummy tissue to rebuild the breasts. I chose this route because it is a “forever” procedure. Implants require monitoring and replacement in 10-15 years. The whole reason for choosing to have a bilateral mastectomy vs. a unilateral mastectomy was to have no ongoing maintenance – monitoring, biopsies, hopefully no cancer treatment, etc. So, although there will be a bit more to the DIEP surgery, in the long run, it’s the best choice for me. A big investment up front for, best case scenario, a long-term solution to remain breast cancer-free for the rest of my days! I look forward to sharing more leading up to and after my surgery. Thanks to those of you who are following along, your care, concern, and support means so much! Things I’ve Learned and Recommend…
I believe being your own advocate is the best thing you can do for yourself when faced with a medical challenge. For me, being an advocate for myself took the shape of research, building out a narrowed list of what type of care or treatment I thought was best for me, and visualizing myself receiving the care or treatment to ensure it felt right and would fit my lifestyle. I took the medical knowledge, a list of pros and cons of treatment options, and open questions to each doctor. I ran through everything with them to ensure I was basing my decisions on sound facts and outcomes, asking if they had any specific recommendations based on what they knew about me, and then took both what I gathered and their professional feedback home with me for consideration. There is no rush (unless, of course, the surgery or treatment is urgent) to make a call on the spot, especially if you are a “processer” like me. You must live with the decisions you make, not your health care team. Walking into appointments with a baseline understanding of what would be happening, questions, and preliminary ideas of what treatment plan I wanted to follow was extremely empowering. It allowed me to be fully present and listen to my doctors without being overwhelmed with a bunch of new information and being unprepared when asked what I’d like to do. Appointments were efficient and effective because we were able to get right into creating a plan unique to me. I make this sound like it was easy, but many times I had to coerce myself into looking what was coming straight in the eye. Opening the comprehensive breast cancer guide was hard, but every time I got into it, I closed the book feeling better off for being brave enough to face the facts and reassured that whatever choice I made was OK as long as it sat right with me. |
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