Written By: Yung Pueblo
This piece is not by me, but I felt it was too important and powerful not to share in its full beauty. I hope it speaks to you as deeply as it struck me. These words can only make all of us better humans in all of our relationships. I also want as many people as possible to know about Yung Pueblo. His writings have been some of the most valuable and impactful words I have ever read.
Love is interrupted by the pain we carry. It is easy to blame love itself for the hurt we feel, but all love does is open us up; the hurt itself comes from the heavy conditioning and ill-fated patterns that stop us from showing up in a compassionate manner. A person can be in love and also unprepared to care for that love. One can feel love for another, but also have a variety of attachments that block their appreciation for the amazing connection that is right in front of them. Attachments, our craving to have things exist in a very particular way, are the rocks that clog up the mighty flow of love. Our attachments are often molded by the hurt we have felt in the past. In this sense, attachments represent our inflexibility.
Love itself has many synonyms: mental clarity, compassion, selflessness, flexibility, acceptance and understanding. Love is so powerful because it is simultaneously hardy and elastic, it takes on the form it needs to bind people together in a wholesome and nourishing manner. But human beings are complex, and we carry the baggage of survivalist tendencies that we gathered during tough times. Love is freedom while attachment is control, all human beings walk in as a mixture of both when they enter into relationships.
What makes relationships work, even when we ourselves are so imperfect, is self-awareness. To be able to see inside of yourself, to pay close enough attention to your mental movements that unconscious tendencies slowly become clear, is an act of love for yourself and for those around you. When you can see if you are being motivated by love or by attachment, you reclaim your power from habitual reactions and start utilizing your intention to bring more harmony into your responses. It takes self-awareness to choose love.
Love itself invites healing. It creates a path for two people to not only blossom in self-awareness but to develop their emotional maturity. Love is a powerful light, if you are immersed in it and ready to grow, it will show you more of yourself. Love is not just for your soothing; it is an engine of evolution. The effort you use to remove the reigns of the past from your mind so that you can arrive to the present as an unburdened human being is an act of love.
The greatest gift partners can give each other is a continuous commitment to their own personal healing. The love you are able to give to yourself and your partner is determined by your self-awareness. If your self-awareness is growing, you will have a greater capacity for intentional actions that are authentic. If you both find methods to help you unload the past that you carry, you will find your minds lighter and there will be more space for you to deepen your connection. Love is a dynamic force, if you are both able to loosen your attachments, it will help you flow together with greater ease.
The uncomfortable truth is that many who have never ventured into healing will struggle to love well. Those who do take their healing seriously have a greater chance at figuring out healthy ways of supporting each other’s happiness. To build the type of home where both of you feel the spaciousness of freedom and the comforting support of the voluntary commitments you have made to each other is a goal worth pursuing.