Being married is my absolute favorite thing in this world.

I'm able to say this with such confidence because my "other half," simply put, rules. He is the most perfect person for me and we continue to grow together in such wonderful ways. 

There are many things about our relationship that make us "work" - but here are a few basic elements that seem to get us through everything:

• ​Teamwork. When we were going through marriage classes our pastor shared a lot of information with us. The one thing that stuck with us was simple, "You're on the same team." He told us a story of an elderly couple that wrote TEAM on a piece of paper and kept it hanging on their fridge throughout their marriage as a constant reminder that although they were two individuals, at the end of the day, every day, they were on the same team. By the end of each day, if we feel like we are on different pages, our ultimate goal is always to figure out how we reposition ourselves to reconvene our position as a team.
• Gratitude. I think "thank you" goes a long way in life, but especially so in marriage. Acknowledgement of what your spouse does to keep you feeling loved, to run the household, to make you proud, to show affection to family and friends - really anything and everything that makes a positive impact - is important. It sounds like an easy thing to do, but to do it right (in my opinion), you have to take time to be very mindful of what your spouse does. Many of the things I express gratitude for are the small things (that ultimately add up to big things). "Thanks for that sweet text, it made my day." "Thanks for taking the dog out and letting me stay snuggled inside." "Thanks for making my family member feel special, my family means a lot to me." "Thanks for making sure that was handled so I didn't have to worry about it."
• Kindness. Marriage is hard work. Joel and I have both expressed this to each other at one point or another...because it's the truth. Not everything is rosy all of the time. There are times when it is really tough to be married to someone so similar and yet so different from you all at that the same time. This is where kindness comes in. Not one of us is perfect. We both have our flaws. But instead of treating each other's flaws with anger, frustration, and hostility - we treat them with gentle kindness. Joel is much better than this than I am, but I'm working on it. In the past, I would have an outburst, followed up with kindness (FORGIVE ME, YOUR PSYCHO WIFE!). Now, I hold my tongue, take a deep breath (or 20), think about the impact my words will have, and find a way to approach the situation with kindness where the end result prompts positive action vs. a negative reaction. Luckily, we don't have many of these moments, but they do exist, and we're both still learning how to navigate touchy moments with kindness.
• Support. When I say "support" I am talking about support of your spouse as an individual. As much as we are a team, there's no denying we are very independent individuals. We are a true case of "opposites attract" when it comes to our personalities, but have always said that is what gives us balance. His outgoing nature prevents me from becoming more of an introverted shut-in than I already am. My fierce focus on moving forward keeps him from living in a van down by the river. We recognize our individual needs, wants, and desires - and support them in each other. I have always believed that if we want to function as the best version of the "team" we've created - we need to nurture and respect ourselves as individuals along the way. He volunteers with me. I go to his shows (when I'm not content being a shut-in...). He humors my chronic planning. I play along with his ever changing musical hero line-up. Our support for each other goes much deeper than this, tied to our core values (which is ultimately why we work so well), but that's a blog post for another day.

I wish you the best of luck in your relationship. Find your own way and acknowledge the things that are working well. Whether you're in a new partnership, a rekindled relationship, or have been together for a long time - no matter what - love is truly a beautiful thing! 

Yoga is one thing that brings me deep down, sincere joy. I often find myself in the midst of practice experiencing the most intense feelings of happiness, gratitude, and peace. To me, yoga is so much more than a hobby or a workout - it is a necessity.

​My passion for yoga began immediately after practicing at Balance Hot Yoga in Cedar Falls for a period of time. The teachers were amazing and loving, but you know what, it was just too damn hot. I wanted to do yoga without slipping out of poses due to the layer of sweat covering every part of by body! It's not for everyone - but I will credit that studio for teaching me the basic foundations I needed to confidently start my own at home practice.

I was off to a good start after leaving Balance and frequenting Field of Yoga in Cedar Falls as I could.​ But having a teacher was important to me to ensure I was aligning my body correctly - nurturing it vs. injuring it. I turned to several online yogis that resonated with me. I have two favorites: Rachel Brathen a.k.a. Yoga Girl and Adriene of Yoga with Adriene.

Rachel is from Aruba and travels internationally. Adriene is based in Texas and travels on a more limited basis. I always thought I'd only practice with them both through a smart phone screen. But this week, I was able to cross that threshold and practice in person with one of my favorite teachers - Rachel!

My sister and I laid down our mats at the convention center in Minneapolis ​ with 548 other yogis to practice with Yoga Girl as part of her "Gratitude Tour." The woman. The myth. The legend. In the same room as all of us. She led a 75 minute, ass kicking flow, while her husband and dog, Ringo, joined her to wander among us. It was an experience I won't try to describe in words, because you had to be there to feel it, but I'll choose three words to sum it up: Empowering, Resonating, Spiritual.

If it wasn't enough to practice with her in person, be led through a meditative journey, and to be surrounded by a room full of strangers that united in the name of yoga - I got to MEET her before we left the convention center. My sister (bless her beautiful, patient heart)​​​ ​waited for an hour so that I could hug Rachel and have her sign the book she wrote (and that I take EVERYWHERE with me). ​That was not my ultimate goal, I was there for the experience, but meeting her was most certainly the icing on the cake. She was everything I thought she would be and more. I feet so full of gratitude for the entire experience. I think it will take a few more days for it all to sink in.

Two other wonderful things that made my trip to Minneapolis extra special was being able to share the entire journey with my sister by my side and also being able to see my brother-in-law that just moved to Minnesota. ​My heart is so very full of love for both of these people, and I could not keep saying "Thank You" to the powers that be for filling my life with people to love, and that love me in return.

Because my heart is very raw with thanks right now, and because it feels SO GOOD, I have one last thing to say in closing: "Give Thanks." It doesn't require the guidance of a pro yogi, you can do it from the comfort of your own home, all by yourself. Give thanks. For every single small and large thing that you alone appreciate and need and love.

Bing Crosby sings it best, "Count your blessings instead of sheep." ​​​

Upon receiving a promotion at work a few years ago, a wise, previous co-worker of mine gave me some really valuable advice over dinner: "Fake it 'til you make it." She could sense that I didn't feel like I had what it took to conquer my new role. I was a 20-something young woman being promoted to a job with actual, load bearing responsibilities. I wasn't simply serving in a support role like so many times before - I was making decisions. People were looking to me as an expert. Expecting great things.

It was a lot of pressure. And eventually, it got the best of me. I couldn't fake it, I didn't have it in me. I left that job, veering completely off my career as a marketer, solely to get out. In hindsight - I was doing great, people loved me (they asked me back multiple times), and I could have handled it (today)  - but not then, I wasn't equipped with the right skills. I needed a breather. I needed to make sure that this "career" I had going for myself was what I wanted, even what I needed, to feel like I was doing something valuable with my life. 

Which brings me to today. I'm 5 years post-breather, 4 years in with Wheaton Franciscan Healthcare's marketing team and anticipating many more. I faked it until I made it vs. letting the responsibility on my shoulders take me out. I believe being able to "fake it" better came with age, mostly. And as I develop more professional confidence, it feels less like faking and more like I actually know what I'm doing. At 31, I'll take that.

I had a mid-year review today that affirmed  that maybe, just maybe, I do know what I'm doing. And if I don't, I acknowledge it and learn from it. In my review, I confidently stated that "I feel like I'm a good marketer." And I do. There wasn't a bit of hesitancy. And it has made me feel that all of the years prior that I've told myself that I wasn't a marketer, that I couldn't do it, that I needed a job where I knew what I was coming in to do everyday...were needed. I needed to doubt, I needed to explore, I needed to FAKE it - until I made it. The truth of this statement could not ring more true to me today.

If you are out there, and you're feeling how I did a few years ago...the best advice I can give is to literally, fake it 'til you make it...and I hope you do.