I started my day today at 5 a.m. sobbing on my bathroom floor. I felt overwhelmed. Desperate. TERRIFIED. A knot growing in my stomach.
I went to sleep hopeful for a different outcome than what appeared to be presenting itself to the world before I closed my eyes. My dreams pivoted around the Electoral Votes map, filled with reds and blues. I felt hope. Promise for a good outcome. Excitement for the future.
Then I woke up.
Today we mourn.
No matter who has held the Presidential seat, I have respected them because I respect the position. That respect disappeared this morning. I don't anticipate its return any time soon. The elected candidate has done nothing but disrespect our country, our people, our environment. Fought dirty, told lies, shown his true (despicable) colors. Denied the existence of major issues. Amplified issues that will certainly make America a nation to be mocked, pitied, and feared. Cruelly picked on and degraded women, minorities, those with special needs. He's demeaned pretty much every category of human being in some way aside from people "like him."
I'm not like him. So I feel included in the ridicule he's cast upon so many people. My respect will never be granted to him. Never. He is not my Commander in Chief. He does not share my values. We have seen who he is at his core and he is a nasty man. A man I am embarrassed and ashamed of.
Other candidates were not perfect either, but they stood for something bigger. They sacrificed their time serving our country and fighting for progress. They didn't rely on creating fear within the hearts of so many and promising to reverse so much of the inclusive change that has been made in this country.
Tomorrow we RISE.
I also felt another feeling after I wiped my tears away this morning. An ignited fire. A fire to continue to live in a positive way that serves others, if not more fiercely. A fire to fight for what I'm passionate about, especially regarding the issues the new President-elect stands for. A fire to unite with others (especially women, see my post below) to impact our community, nation, and world.
The anger I am feeling is giving me so much drive. I hope for those of you that did not support this candidate felt the same fire. Let's recognize that we have a new leader, but not obligated to serve him. Let's serve our country in the best way we can, by focusing on love and kindness and progress. Let's not allow all of the beautiful things that have changed in our country revert back to what they were before - some non-existent.
We have to unite more now than ever. We have to carry the strength that President Obama would expect of us. We can't give up, if for nothing else, for his sake. We have to make it through the next four years in the best possible way we can.
Keep your chin up.