My grandma said one of my grandpa's favorite songs used to be "I'm in a Hurry (And Don't Know Why)" by Alabama. I know why. Because the lyrics matched his life. They spoke to him. I can relate.
Our lives since February of this year have been one big blur of tasks, faces, feelings, and places. So many highs, a few lows, firing one after another.
A side effect of the aforementioned blur is that my body and mind are set to "I'm in a Hurry (And Don't Know Why)" mode at all times. I often feel like I have a ticker tape "to do" list that is constantly unraveling itself inside my mind. Check this off, add that on, don't forget this, make sure to do that. And if the tape isn't actively unraveling with my lists, I feel like I'm forgetting, or slacking, or have lost all control of my life.
Yikes, huh? Yeah, that's what I thought, too. That's why I declared this coming weekend "MY WEEKEND." I need a breather from the blur. I need to recalibrate. No tasks (we'll see how long that lasts), no events, no people. Just me (and Joel of course - he is supportive of my declaration).
If this is what it feels like to maintain perfection, to feel in control, to keep up appearances - whatever I've been doing all of this for - I don't know if I want to (or can) keep doing it. We're moving forward, yes, but at full speed. That's not my natural speed at all...
That's why it's time to stop rushing. Time to start saying, "No, thank you." Time to get back to my yogic center and remind myself that to feel calm, I need to remain calm at my center and let the world whirl around me - not allow my center to be a whirlwind in order to create calm around me. I've flipped inside out it seems. Time to get back to myself. Constant recentering. Amen.
How are you feeling? Same? I encourage you to take a break with me. Kick back, do what you love, and make time for some life savoring. Don't let rushing around become your constant - remember to take time to slow down!